Last year, I remember there were some people unhappy I labeled Ireland an ‘English-language’ nation. It was hard to find an organized group to put Ireland in with my blogging. I know Ireland is working to revive Irish Gaelic, but English is still common. Also Malta is in this same group and I’m well aware there are many on the island who also speak Maltese and Italian.
Anyways the one thing that stands out about the entries from these three nations is that two of the entries are known as two of the more notorious entries. You’ll know which two I’m talking about. Some may find them funny. Some may find them dumb. Some may find them shocking. It’s all a matter of ones’ taste, one’s tolerances and sensitivities and one’s judgement. In the meantime, here’s my look at the Eurovision entries of predominantly English-speaking nations:
AUSTRALIA
Song: “Milkshake Man”
Performer: Go-Jo
Ever since Australia’s SBS decided to enter Australia into the Eurovision Song Contest, it has amassed a runner-up finish and four more Top 10 finishes. It has also had to non-qualifiers, including last year. This year, SBS decided on an internal selection for their Eurovision entry this year. The decided on Western Australia’s Go-Jo and his song is “Milkshake Man.” Go-Jo’s real name is Marty Zambotto and he’s talented in both music and Australian Football. He’s best known for viral videos of over 3 million hits each of his cover of the Goo Goo Dolls’ “Iris” and his own song “Mrs. Hollywood” where he filmed at Sydney’s Bondi Beach.
Go-Jo co-wrote this song with three other Australian songwriters. This is the type of song to a dance beat that you wish is to do about a man who is world famous for selling the world’s best milkshakes, but you know it’s about something else! The chorus of “I can tell you want a taste of the milkshake man” is enough giveaway of what the song’s really all about. Even Go-Jo’s appearance of making the Milkshake Man look like a sleaze make it more obvious that’s what it’s about. Especially when he adds in the lines like “take a sip from my special cup” and “the naughty special on my crème brulée.” I have mixed feelings about comedy entries in Eurovision. They’re good when done right but it’s still a gamble as we’ve seen comedic entries done better before. Some will find the humor in this song and Go-Jo’s character and laugh it off while the over-sensitive type may find it offensive. I haven’t seen any staging so I hope the delegation pulls off well.
ESC Chances: Are you sensing what I’m sensing? That ever since the semifinals became popular vote only in 2023 the quality of Eurovision entries in semifinals has a noticeable decline? This song makes it obvious it’s trying to shock its way to the semifinal. Don’t get me wrong. I have no problem with sex jokes in Eurovision entries as long as they’re done right. The UK entry of 2007 “Flying The Flag” is one example of sex humor in a Eurovision song being enjoyable. Latvia’s 2022 song “Eat Your Salad” is a case of sex humor being done dumb. My questions is will Eurofans take Go-Jo’s sleazy character for the comedy it’s intended to be? Or will they find his Milkshake Man ‘creepy’ and ‘offensive?’ I see its qualifying chances as 50/50. After seeing the video, I can only hope they do staging that fits the Eurovision stage well or its qualifying chances will flop.
IRELAND
Song: “Laika Party”
Performer: Emmy
The sixth-place finish of Bambie Thug last year was enough to stimulate Ireland into who will represent for 2025. Again, RTE held the Eurosong Contest to decide the song and entry to represent. Song submissions and applications for auditions began in September. Three-hundred and eighty songs were submitted and six artists were decided by the jury as finalists. The final was held with a national jury, an international jury and televoting deciding as their rankings decided the points for the performers. In the end, it was decided on Norwegian singer Emmy with her song “Laika Party.” Emmy Kristiansen has been active in music since she was fourteen first competing in the Junior Melodi Grand Prix. She has returned to the main Melodi Grand Prix as a contestant in 2021, as a juror in 2023 and as a songwriter in 2024. Her song “Laika Party” was originally rejected for the Melodi Grand Prix.
FACT: For those who haven’t studied space history, Laika was a Russian stray dog who made history as the first living being to go into outer space. The Soviet space system launched a dog into space to test if it was possible for a living being to survive space travel. During the one-day trip in 1957, Laika lived and ate on the spaceship with little to no problem for the first five to seven hours. Unfortunately, she died during the voyage. Causes of death range from hyperthermia to asphyxia to oxygen depletion. Despite her sudden death, Laika is admired for her ability to prove that earthly beings can survive space travel.
This song, co-written by Emmy with four other writers, is a song inspired when she accidentally learned of the story of Laika when she was younger. She claims in an interview she imagined what would happen if Laika didn’t die. The ‘what if’ of the song is if Laika lived, stayed forever up in outer space and had one big never-ending party. The song is sweet without going over the top. The dance beats are catchy and infectious, also bringing back some memories of 1990’s Eurodance. I found this to be a very enjoyable song despite the dark subject matter. I’ve heard darker subject matter in dance songs, but this doesn’t go over the top with it. Nevertheless one Eurofan claims this song invented a new musical genre: Tearjerker Dance.
ESC Chances: After Bambie Thug finished sixth last year, it gives the impression Ireland finally got it about what it takes nowadays to excel at Eurovision. Emmy is far from the shockmeister Bambie is but this song is very catchy. It’s one of the rare times a song can sound sweet without becoming ‘saccharine.’ I see this song having good chances of qualifying on the song’s merit. Unfortunately with the Eurovision is nowadays, staging will make or break a song’s qualifying chances. I’m hoping this song has staging that works for the Eurovision contest because it deserves to be in the Grand Final. I’m sure many Eurofans know many a song that deserved to be in the Grand Final, but bad staging prevented it from happening. Including some songs from Ireland. Let’s hope “Laika Party” isn’t the latest Irish casualty.
MALTA
Song: “Serving” (originally “Kant”)
Performer: Miriana Conte
To select Malta’s entry for Eurovision, Malta’s PBS held the Malta Eurovision Song Contest 2025 national final. There was even a songwriting camp held in June for budding Eurovision songwriters. The contest was open to songwriters from around the world, but performers had to be residents of Malta or Maltese citizens. The 24 artists and songs were announced in December but four days later, one song had to be disqualified because it was published before September 1st and a replacement entry was added. The jury consisted of nine members: five Maltese music professionals, an Italian RAI executive, a Czech head of Eurovision delegation, an Irish talent exec and Wiwibloggs’ William Lee Adams.
The semifinals consisted of twelve performances each with the Top 8 from each semi qualifying to the final. In the final, it was to be decided by jury voting and televoting. In the end, Miriana Conte’s “Kant” was second in jury points but her top televoting points took her to the win! Conte has been actively singing since she was sixteen. She has competed on X-Factor Malta and in the Malta Eurovision Song Contest four previous times.
LYRIC CONTROVERSY: For those who don’t understand Maltese, ‘kant’ is the Maltese word for ‘singing’ or ‘song’ and it sounds exactly like a certain taboo word in the English language. The English-language term ‘serving ****’ is slang for behaving in a bold self-confident feminine manner. The song was intended to be a pun on the words. Originally released January 8th of this year, the controversy started when BBC2 radio’s Scott Mills said the song could not be played at Eurovision. Conte stated in a TVM interview that the EBU accepted the song. If that was true, the EBU would soon reverse its decision due to constant complaints form the BBC, according to Maltese network PBS. Conte and the rest of the Maltese delegation did agree to a compromise. The song would be retitled “Serving” and she replaced the lyric with ‘serving aaahh.’
The song, which was co-written by Miriana with four other writers, is about the pressures Miriana faces in the music industry about delivering her style while the industry wants her to deliver a chart-topping style. It’s frustrating and overbearing, but Miriana has had it and she will deliver her music her way. When she sang “serving kant,” she’s saying she’s singing her music in her style. The pressure of changing this song title only adds to the irony of the theme of her song! The song is a pop song that appears to mix rap, dance and some hip-hop elements. The beat is infectious, the melody is intense and relentless and Miriana’s attitude is on full display. Additionally, Miriana’s singing abilities are on full display here. I can easily see why people find this song enjoyable as I enjoy it too. It’s a song that’s hard to ignore, whether it’s about its intended title or the sass of the song.
ESC Chances: It’s obvious Malta wants to get back in the Top 10, like it began the decade. Their three straight non-qualifiers is the longest non-qualifying streak Malta has ever had. No doubt this song has what it takes to get Malta back in the Grand Final. It has Top 10 material in it but it could miss. It’s been a big question whether removing ‘Kant’ from the song will hurt it or not. I’ve always felt, Kant or no Kant, the biggest standout trait of the song is the attitude Miriana displays throughout. I feel removing Kant from the song does not take out the song’s attitude and sass. However I’m sure some EuroFans will disagree with me and be disappointed with the change. I’d say the song’s qualifying chances are comfortable but its Top 10 chances are 50/50 right now.
And there you have it. That’s my look at the Eurovision entries of three English-speaking nations. I know there are a lot of Eurofans like me that may be concerned of how semifinal entries have had more shock elements of late, but I won’t panic. We should remember even with the shock entries or ‘troll entries’ as some commonly call it, the songs that excel are most often the songs where the quality of the song still delivers. Even the most popular ‘shock winners’ like “Hard Rock Hallelujah” and “Toy” delivered as songs.
WORK CITED:
WIKIPEDIA: Serving (song). Wikipedia.com. 2025. Wikimedia Foundation Inc. <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serving_(song)>
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